How to become more assertive

8 Assertiveness techniques to try

Assertiveness Techniques



What is assertiveness?

Assertiveness is being able to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a direct and respectful manner whilst also respecting the rights of others. Here are some techniques to help you be more assertive: 


  1.  Use “I” statements. Using statements that start with “I’ rather than “you” when expressing your thoughts, feelings and needs, can feel less blaming and less aggressive. 
  2.  Keep your voice calm, clear and steady. Tone of voice is important when being assertive. 
  3. Use active listening by giving your full attention to the other person, maintaining eye contact, and reflecting what they are expressing. 
  4. Express yourself clearly. Assertiveness involves being clear and concise. Avoid using vague language. 
  5.  It is important to have boundaries and say no assertively to requests without feeling guilty. 
  6. Body language including maintaining eye contact and having good posture is helpful for communicating assertiveness. 
  7. Practice self-care. Making sure that you eat well, sleep enough, exercise and having enough down time are really important to feel well enough to be assertive. 
  8. If the above techniques are not working, you can use the broken record technique where you keep saying what you want over and over again calmly.


Accessing Support

For personalised support with a psychologist or therapist, you can contact us on 07 3254 0333 to schedule an appointment.



Download the PDF Tip Sheet

Axis Clinic Assertiveness Techniques – Tip Sheet