How to become more assertive
8 Assertiveness techniques to try
What is assertiveness?
Assertiveness is being able to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a direct and respectful manner whilst also respecting the rights of others. Here are some techniques to help you be more assertive:
- Use “I” statements. Using statements that start with “I’ rather than “you” when expressing your thoughts, feelings and needs, can feel less blaming and less aggressive.
- Keep your voice calm, clear and steady. Tone of voice is important when being assertive.
- Use active listening by giving your full attention to the other person, maintaining eye contact, and reflecting what they are expressing.
- Express yourself clearly. Assertiveness involves being clear and concise. Avoid using vague language.
- It is important to have boundaries and say no assertively to requests without feeling guilty.
- Body language including maintaining eye contact and having good posture is helpful for communicating assertiveness.
- Practice self-care. Making sure that you eat well, sleep enough, exercise and having enough down time are really important to feel well enough to be assertive.
- If the above techniques are not working, you can use the broken record technique where you keep saying what you want over and over again calmly.
For personalised support with a psychologist or therapist, you can contact us on 07 3254 0333 to schedule an appointment.
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